Saturday, February 12, 2011

10 things i learned from Bangalore!!




1) Southies are not racist. Northies are!! (Spare the rickshaw walas)

2) There are landlords who don't mind a bachelor living his life!! (Gals are always allowed in the house!! ;-) )

3) Bitching of all sorts is less offensive in English!!! ( Learn Hindi from the Northies!)

4) Dosa with coffee in breakfast is better than omlette wrapped in aloo ka parantha (trust me..)

5) Everything is like anything!! (seriously, like anything)

6) There exists an irrational replacement for a question '????' - 'aaaaaa'. (MG roadaaaa)

7) Hot gals don't mind going out wid guys like me!! (hehehehe...)

8) The abondoned from the North thrives in the South!! - (Yes, A Rock band)

9) Show-off is patented only to the Punjabissss!! (or may be to some idiots)

and last but not the least...

10) Delhi is in no means the best city in India!! (Still disputable ;-))

Monday, February 1, 2010

Institute of Entertainment & Timepass

Have you ever seen a place like this?

Situated in the middle of nowhere,
near the forest of trees,
in the silence of abandoned industries,
commute with only 'fatfaitya', please.
Where teenagers go to do engineering,
with all the hypes and hopes only to find
that their careers are gonna take a deep lope.

Where the freshers' party is always worth a watch
because every year it ends up in a brawl.
Shouting, screaming, swearing on your mom,
the chairman runs with a stick behind the mob.
'Very inspirational', the seniors say,
teaching us the ways to be and not to be.
So enjoy the ragging or at least pretend,
One day you will find yourself fixed.

Have you ever seen a place like this?

Where the MD is called ‘KUKU’
who's the so called MBA, but
everyone knows that he's an illiterate 
who can't even spell his sorry ‘A’.
The Chairman is no less,
he claims he's a doctor
but on the AIDS day he lectures us,
"Use Condoms AFTER sex".
Musical nights are also worth a watch.
DJ is a one who plays 
only Bhangra &amp. folk.
When everyone is ready to hit the groove,
a rope partitions the floor keeping
girls safe from the male whores.
Rock performances have their way too,
A cult of 10 head bang in front, while the
thousand others feel disgusted with the tune.

Have you ever seen a place like this??

Where gals and guys are banned from sitting together,
not in the classrooms but in the canteen.
For the sake of protecting the sisterhood
someone's destroying their teen.
The love birds still find their ways 
in the eternal ‘khopchas'.
It's a secret place to make love, people,
no one’s ever gonna catch ya!!

The lecturers enter the class and find empty chairs,
Unknown of the fact that somewhere in the campus
there are no empty chairs.
KUKU goes crazy and calls his battalion.
To all the problems, he pretends to be an alien.
While the guards shut the canteen down,
the daredevils jump off the walls
and the losers return to the halls.

Have you ever seen a place like this??

A night before the exam everyone plays Counter-Strike.
The other day everyone prays the deity for a Favor-Strike.
Where a receptionist is now a TPO
whose biggest achievement is
remembering KUKU's memo. 
KUKU keeps hiring new lecturers,
ain't new though,
who forgets the faces that ragged them so low ?
But KUKU is a dick-tator with a broom,
Students now realise that they are so doomed.
A few good companies come and recruit only a few.
The receptionist then dials a phone or two.
 and gets the companies which request money for their loo.
While students introspect what went wrong,
it’s time to say to each other the last goodbye.
Lucky ones get ready to stuff their belly,
Others pack their bags and head to Silicon Valley. 

10% of real placements will become 100% on the charts.
People will get impressed and donate with full heart.
KUKU will get richer, chairman the richest,
And this group of institutions will keep getting the biggest.
Crazy, isn't it??
It’s a vicious circle Mr. Ogden Nash,
And it hurts a little bit.

Isn't such a place worth a visit??
Well not for me because I m sick of it!!!!
That’s my alma mater.

Have you ever seen a place like this?


Monday, November 16, 2009

A Novel and PT - My latest heartthrobs!!


Aaah!! At last I got some space in the fourth dimension for the blogsville. All this while my office kept me busy and it didn’t let me buy time for blogging at all. But that’s not all. Another reason for being away from writing was my newly developed hobby of reading novels. Oops!!! not novels but a novel. I found the title to be too intriguing; hence, I bought it at the very first sight. It’s penned by Richard Dawkins. So, if you guys know him then you can easily guess what it would be all about. Well I have always liked when someone questions the irrational beliefs and theories that exist in our society, especially on the grounds of religion. And the vituperative responses that are generated against such questioning only help me believe more strongly in the anti-belief that our society gruesomely refers to atheism. But I am not in the mood to talk about all this right now. Let me first finish this novel (which might take years as it’s quite boring and indiscernible due to its British author and his high-fundoo English). I hope ‘The God Delusion’ becomes the 2nd ever novel in my short but long term list of 'Finished novels'J.

Well there is a little bit of masala news that I wanted to share. Porcupine Tree is coming to India. That too to Mumbai!!! And this metal head, yah this one- ‘the one writing this post’ is eagerly waiting for them as he  already has his tickets booked for their live show on 21st dec. 

You guys will be surprised to know that I came to know about Porcupine Tree (PT) only a month ago from my friend. And I started listening to them then only. I then realized what I had been missing for all these years. What an impact they had on me!!Now  I listen to PT when i am in the office, when i am travelling in the bus and even before sleeping. Most of the times I refer to myself as a normal guy who is not crazy about anything but when it comes to music, there comes an exception. And I feel proud to say that I am crazy about Porcupine tree now. Though PT is a rare non-generic band, I will still refer them as ‘Rock artists who fuse different types of sound’ to keep it simple here. Their delusive lyrics, soothing and melodious guitar, heavy beats of drums and the very dexterous keyboard play will surely make this a dream concert for me. Still there is one month to go but I am already hyperexcited about it. My friends will soon start believing that I am suffering from logorrhea coz whenever this topic comes around in the discussion all I do is talking!!!
I hope some of you who are reading this are also Porcupine Tree fans (I know I am hoping against hope coz they are the most underrated stars of music industry, very few people know about them). Hope to see you guys in the concertJ.

Ba bye for now!!!

P.S.: I didn’t post anything in last 30 days and my IndiRank went up by 4 places. It’s 39/100 from 43/100. Hmm.. interesting!! I guess I will be IndiRank 1 if I quit blogging …what say?? :D


Sunday, October 4, 2009

Five point some views!!!

My friend Bharathi wrote an excellent post - ‘The Indian dream’ a few days back. I request you to read it first for a better understanding of what's going to follow.


Bharathi's remarks on the political leaders and on our country are pretty intellectual but i kind of disagree with some of them. The aberrations in our opinions are not only restricted to the points of ‘corruption’ or ‘whom to blame for country’s situation’ but they also extend to the more subtle points like ’IST’ and ‘Whether Indians do their job whole heartedly or not’.


I have got so many thoughts running through my mind right now, so, instead of messing them up I will like to write them down into 5 points.So, here I go:




1) Comparison with the UK:


Let me start with this – First of all I don’t think that comparing a developing nation with a developed nation is a wise thing to do. This is because the differences between them are vast and often the root causes of these differences are never addressed.


The question of political corruption, the question of infrastructure, the question of good behavior, all of these have one common answer to them – ‘Money’. Developed nations have enough money to keep their citizens happy and the developing nations don’t. And I don’t need to reveal where they got all that money from J. Even the poorest there would be richer than his counterpart living in a developing nation. The problems that make a developing nation ‘developing’ can hardly be found in a developed nation. So one should not fixate his thinking on why this happens here only and not in the developed countries. You need to think deep to answer this. There is no comparison. The two categories of nations are at different levels all together. It’s like comparing a cat with a mouse and thinking when the mouse will actually be able to walk abreast with the cat. 


But yah, what we can do is that we can compare two rats together. Like two giant rats ‘India’ and ‘China’. Then we can figure out what these two are good at and what we should learn from them in order to achieve our goal of becoming ‘Developed’. That will be a better comparision in many ways. This is because it’s more likely that the two developing nations face similar problems. Thus, by learning how one of them finds a way out of the issues, one can help the other nation in pragmatically solving the similar issues. Our objective is to become better in our own ways. All the developed nations on their path of development were actually competing with each other and that’s how they became developed :). Same trend we should follow.




2) Our political leaders:


Bharathi in his post said that our leaders are no different than us –


I feel politicians and corrupt officials are not born straight from sky. They indeed originate within us. They reflect the culture and practices of our entire nation. When we are pointing fingers at corrupt politicians, can we tell that our common people are free of guilt?


Absolutely true Bharathi. Neither do the politicians come from the sky nor is the common man free of guilt. But leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Sardar Valabhbhai Patel, Jawahar lal Nehru, Lal Bahadur Shastry (and the list of great leaders go on..) also existed with us. Leaders are those who make people follow them, who are considered as idols, who are respected and loved. They are not the ones who follow what a common man does. They are those who bring reforms. They are not the ones who leave their nation and society as it is. Common man needs someone to lead him. A common man’s thinking can be changed by his leader. Leader has to be influential rather than being a dumb listener. Just like Raja Ram Mohan Roy who went against the Indian society and culture to abolish ‘Sati’ system, a political leader’s role is to improve the society by bringing reforms and not to merely accept the society from where he has come from. So, I don’t think that a leader should reflect the culture and practices of the entire nation. If our society is wrong then leaders can only correct them. The sad part is that in India the kind of people who volunteer in elections are not actually made up of leader’s material but are merely representatives of people who don’t even know them. Do you think we have any strong leaders now?




3) We don’t mind litter the space when we are out of our home:


I can understand that this happens due to two reasons-


a) India is still highly uneducated.
b) India doesn’t have appropriate infrastructure.


There is a difference between literacy and education. You can earn well, you can speak well if you are literate but literacy doesn’t guarantee ‘good behaviour’. Sometimes in Delhi I feel that richies are less educated than the middle and lower class. I guess our education system has failed to provide proper education to not only to the children of poor but also of wealthy people.


The other point is that those who are educated and understand that keeping places clean is their fundamental duty, actually land up littering a place cause they can’t find proper arrangement for that. I can hardly see dustbins on the roadsides and public conveniences are rare species too. How can you imagine someone controlling his pee for more than an hour in a search for a public toilet?? How can you imagine people walking miles on the roadside in search of dustbins that never exist??




4) Job inefficiency:


That’s a very important point that you picked up Bharathi. But if you dig deep into the reasons as to why most of the Indians are not that job efficient then you will find that – ‘Indians are not usually happy with their jobs’. Not because it’s paying them less but because they are least interested in the kind of jobs that they do. Now why will someone take a job which will not interest him much? The answer is ‘Family’ and ‘Society’. Indians are wild social animals. And our culture defines our duties; Duties like taking responsibilities of your family, earn some name and respect in the society. You don’t always have a freedom of pursuing what you want to.


I am working in IT industry (no surprise there) and I can see that 70% of people in IT don’t actually like what they are doing. They are doing it just because jobs are in IT sector and nowhere else. They are killing their interests for the sake of money. How do you expect someone to work efficiently with something that he doesn't like doing. People who took biology in their PUC land up becoming an engineer due to their parents' pressure. And no wonder the same logic applies in the govt. sector. The main reason of inefficiency there is that people jump into the govt. offices regardless of the job profile as they are offered permanent jobs. That means tension free life.


Thus I feel that IST is also a product of our job inefficiency. Those who do the things that interest them never actually get late in finishing it. But for others it’s always Indian Stretchable Time.




5) ‘What you can give to the UK’:


As of now what you can give to the UK are the condolences and sympathies from the Indians, directed towards their cricket team :). After all their largest past time colony or what I should say ‘Slave’ is currently the ‘King’ of the game that they invented centuries ago. What else can you give to them??? Just kiddin’ :p.


Well this was a long post. I think I have made my views really clear. Feel free to disagree :).

The Curious Case of Our Nation!! (Reiterated)

I don’t have to go across the globe to write about a curious case. I just need to look into my nation.

The population of Indians in Britain makes British feel so out of place. The prejudice we showed to our neighbors made them remember ‘India’ as a synonym for ‘hate’.

Such has been our unity in the past that we were ruled by almost every might in this world. Such is the case with terrorism in our country that hardly anything has been done.

Such is the craze for Cricket that players are treated as kings as well as waste. The condition of other sports makes them so out of taste.

Such are the IT engineers here that most of them don't even know C. And still India is the number 1 preference for all the IT companies.

Fuming faces when a Muslim girl is on the Tennis Court is what we get to see. The same faces grin when a Muslim actress wears two piece bikini in a movie.

Such are the filmfare awards here that the best of the actors actually boycott them!! Such is the adulation for some that people actually worship them.

Such is the literate society here who spends tons of money donating to the ignorant priests. The plight of a needy is that he can never rest in peace.

Such are the people here who despite of knowing the truth, elect the culprits of ‘Gujrat riots’. Still they don’t agree that they are religiously biased.

The world thinks that India is changing and so do we, but what remains the same are the slums in Mumbai.

India’s 8% annual growth is just an irony. Power cuts in major cities are the sights to see.

Culture, cast , religion are said to be the things that every Indian boasts about. But the tiny box thinking of ours has left us with hate and nothing to be proud of.

Even a nursery going kid in Australia now knows who Indians are. We call them racist, forgetting who we actually are.

The only hope left now is our new generation. But our ignorance still keeps me in suspicion.
I know many may argue that this is not what India is all about, may be yah, but can’t you see the ‘Dance of hypocrisy in the world’s largest democracy’?? That’s what I wanted to bring out.

Monday, September 28, 2009

A Piscean's anger

It’s one of those days when I am cursing myself, loathing myself for being a Piscean. The strengths of a Piscean succumbed to its weaknesses today. It’s frustrating, it’s demoralizing, it’s grim and most of all it has taken away an essential element of my life from me.

The most famous Piscean weakness has to be this – ‘Pisceans are sentimental beings’. It doesn’t mean that they are mawkish but the fact is that they get affected with the subtlest tender and emotion on this earth. I am sentimental and I hate being this. It makes me weak. It confuses me. And most of all, it hurts me. It hurts me when people can’t understand my sentiments. It hurts when some insignificant issues spawn sentiments in my mind. And we know this world, don’t we?? Is it good to be sentimental in this ruthless world?? No!!! Absolutely not. But I just can’t get away with it. I am hapless.

Adding to the helplessness is the evergreen and eternal word, ‘Expectations’. And it is the root cause for most of the problems. Knowing this, still I expect. People disappoint me a lot. But why??? Cause I expect from them a lot. Expectations arise when people are close to you. But not everyone expects like I do. So, others can’t understand why I expect so much. It’s a deadlock. How can I exorcize the devil of ‘Expectations’ from my mind?? It’s inherited in me, again there is no way out.

Last but not the least, a Piscean’s foremost weakness is that he blames himself for all the wrongs. I think I am doing this. See, I am cursing myself. I am cursing myself for my weaknesses. Am I fully responsible for hurting myself??? I don’t know. I can’t answer it. Damn I am a piscean and I will obviously feel so.

I don’t believe in horoscopes. Neither do I believe in Astrology. But still am venting out frustration on my zodiac sign. Gosh!! I turned into a hypocrite. But I am doing so because I just want to. And was that me being irrational?? Yah, the preacher of rationality is practicing irrationality today. Isn’t it incredible?? How one sad incident in your life can change you as a person? All your ethics, all your beliefs, all what you preach, all of those go down in drain. Just one heart breaking incident is enough; you will be a changed person ever after.

But I don’t want to change. I want to sustain my beliefs that have designed me into what I am. Right now all the negative thoughts are running through my mind. That’s why I wrote this piece of crap just to vent out my anger and anguish. I feel a little better now.

Excuse me for such a retarded post. I hope I will get back soon from this aberration.