Monday, September 28, 2009

A Piscean's anger

It’s one of those days when I am cursing myself, loathing myself for being a Piscean. The strengths of a Piscean succumbed to its weaknesses today. It’s frustrating, it’s demoralizing, it’s grim and most of all it has taken away an essential element of my life from me.

The most famous Piscean weakness has to be this – ‘Pisceans are sentimental beings’. It doesn’t mean that they are mawkish but the fact is that they get affected with the subtlest tender and emotion on this earth. I am sentimental and I hate being this. It makes me weak. It confuses me. And most of all, it hurts me. It hurts me when people can’t understand my sentiments. It hurts when some insignificant issues spawn sentiments in my mind. And we know this world, don’t we?? Is it good to be sentimental in this ruthless world?? No!!! Absolutely not. But I just can’t get away with it. I am hapless.

Adding to the helplessness is the evergreen and eternal word, ‘Expectations’. And it is the root cause for most of the problems. Knowing this, still I expect. People disappoint me a lot. But why??? Cause I expect from them a lot. Expectations arise when people are close to you. But not everyone expects like I do. So, others can’t understand why I expect so much. It’s a deadlock. How can I exorcize the devil of ‘Expectations’ from my mind?? It’s inherited in me, again there is no way out.

Last but not the least, a Piscean’s foremost weakness is that he blames himself for all the wrongs. I think I am doing this. See, I am cursing myself. I am cursing myself for my weaknesses. Am I fully responsible for hurting myself??? I don’t know. I can’t answer it. Damn I am a piscean and I will obviously feel so.

I don’t believe in horoscopes. Neither do I believe in Astrology. But still am venting out frustration on my zodiac sign. Gosh!! I turned into a hypocrite. But I am doing so because I just want to. And was that me being irrational?? Yah, the preacher of rationality is practicing irrationality today. Isn’t it incredible?? How one sad incident in your life can change you as a person? All your ethics, all your beliefs, all what you preach, all of those go down in drain. Just one heart breaking incident is enough; you will be a changed person ever after.

But I don’t want to change. I want to sustain my beliefs that have designed me into what I am. Right now all the negative thoughts are running through my mind. That’s why I wrote this piece of crap just to vent out my anger and anguish. I feel a little better now.

Excuse me for such a retarded post. I hope I will get back soon from this aberration.


Vishnu said...

u blame urself for being sentimental.. n my mom tells me to be a little sentimental.. n am an aquarian.. even i dont believe in horoscopes.. but i think u shd read tht linda goodman book(the very book on which priyanka's latest whts ur rashee is based on) on horoscopes too.. pple suggested me tht.. nice retarded post..

^RoOhAnI^ said...

Every Piscean has moments like the one you are going through right now. In fact my own blog has so many posts on the same subject, lol.

Being a piscean makes one ultra-sensitive to little things which matter to them the most, and I think instead of thinking of this as a weakness, one should consider it one's strength to be able to be compassionate and sensitive to other people (as Vishnu says here, his mom tells him to be sentimental, lol)

Don't call it a retarded post, it happens to me all the time. You'll get in and out of this phase every once in a while, don't be frustrated just write it down when u feel that way and watch it disappear! :)

Ashish said...

@Vishnu: Thanks for the comment :). I guess all mothers in this world are emotional. And emotions lead to sentiments. But guess wat, mothers have a great power of sustaining any mental stress. That's wat women are gud at. They are mentally stronger than men. It's true that man should also be a little senti. But if a man is ultra-senti (like a piscean man), then it's bad for him. 'Excess of anything is bad' :).

Ashish said...

Thanks for showing empathy with me Roohani :). Nice to see some encouraging words. I am feeling much better now. Surely, writing helps :).

Samadrita said...

Hey you're tagged in my last post.Will come back later to read this one. :)

Nitin said...

Nice one man Hope now u have wrote all the things your anger and emotions are back to normal level :D.

By the way once again a Nice post well articulated.

Ashish said...

@Nitin: It's really encouraging that ppl liked this post even though i considered it as a little retarded. I was back to normal after writing this. Thanks for your concern. Welcome to Subliminal verses.