A Piscean's anger

It’s one of those days when I am cursing myself, loathing myself for being a Piscean. The strengths of a Piscean succumbed to its weaknesses today. It’s frustrating, it’s demoralizing, it’s grim and most of all it has taken away an essential element of my life from me.

The most famous Piscean weakness has to be this – ‘Pisceans are sentimental beings’. It doesn’t mean that they are mawkish but the fact is that they get affected with the subtlest tender and emotion on this earth. I am sentimental and I hate being this. It makes me weak. It confuses me. And most of all, it hurts me. It hurts me when people can’t understand my sentiments. It hurts when some insignificant issues spawn sentiments in my mind. And we know this world, don’t we?? Is it good to be sentimental in this ruthless world?? No!!! Absolutely not. But I just can’t get away with it. I am hapless.

Adding to the helplessness is the evergreen and eternal word, ‘Expectations’. And it is the root cause for most of the problems. Knowing this, still I expect. People disappoint me a lot. But why??? Cause I expect from them a lot. Expectations arise when people are close to you. But not everyone expects like I do. So, others can’t understand why I expect so much. It’s a deadlock. How can I exorcize the devil of ‘Expectations’ from my mind?? It’s inherited in me, again there is no way out.

Last but not the least, a Piscean’s foremost weakness is that he blames himself for all the wrongs. I think I am doing this. See, I am cursing myself. I am cursing myself for my weaknesses. Am I fully responsible for hurting myself??? I don’t know. I can’t answer it. Damn I am a piscean and I will obviously feel so.

I don’t believe in horoscopes. Neither do I believe in Astrology. But still am venting out frustration on my zodiac sign. Gosh!! I turned into a hypocrite. But I am doing so because I just want to. And was that me being irrational?? Yah, the preacher of rationality is practicing irrationality today. Isn’t it incredible?? How one sad incident in your life can change you as a person? All your ethics, all your beliefs, all what you preach, all of those go down in drain. Just one heart breaking incident is enough; you will be a changed person ever after.

But I don’t want to change. I want to sustain my beliefs that have designed me into what I am. Right now all the negative thoughts are running through my mind. That’s why I wrote this piece of crap just to vent out my anger and anguish. I feel a little better now.

Excuse me for such a retarded post. I hope I will get back soon from this aberration.

Money money money!!

There's somethin' wrong with the world today
I don't know what it is
Something's wrong with our eyes
We're seeing things in a different way
And God knows it ain't His
It sure ain't no surprise
We're livin' on the edge
We're livin' on the edge
We're livin' on the edge
We're livin' on the edge

Steve Taylor’s classic is running through my mind. Don’t know what the great Aerosmith’s vocalist had in his mind when he penned down the above rhythmic but since I gained conscience about this crazy little world, I have been thoroughly impressed by the aptness of the same.

Nowadays, the only thing left that is most sacred to human beings is ‘Money’. It’s above everything now. And I don’t want to question its potency. I guess everyone reading is well aware of that. But what baffles me is that how money has become a reason for ‘confession’ in these days. Yah, I am talking about confessing truth, ‘The moment of Truth (aka Sach ka Samna)’. Contestants come in front of the whole world, they face the cameras, they face the polite host of the show sitting in the front and their families on the left as they try to answer 21 throat cutting, heart breaking and mind boggling questions committing that they are gonna speak up the truth today. Well, now that’s courageous.

But they aren’t born-courageous, are they?? The kind of truths they reveal suggest - negative. All the confessions made are just for one reason – ‘Money’. They come to this show and embarrass themselves and their families in front of the whole world for all the wrong doings in their lives and get a little wealthy. But they won’t agree with my last statement. I don’t know whether it’s their perception or their greed that brings them on that stage. But what I will say is that their perception has been corrupted with ‘The Omnipotent Money’. I mean come on, why at first you want the world audience to be staring at you in disgust when you confess the ugliest truths of your lives? What has the world got to do with you? I wonder is it money or the guilt that drives them to reveal the unspoken and the unspeakable truths of their lives. Surely it’s money. Ask them if they will like to come to this show and bring out their true selves in front of the public if they are not granted any money to do so. Well, they need a reason as to why to risk their lives, right?? Money is the best reason.

The most hypocritical thing about claiming truth in front of the world is the fact that you never really cared what the world thinks or may think of you. If you would have really cared you wouldn't have been on the hot seat at first. People are well aware of the fact that how they will degrade themselves in the eyes of the society and their family if they reveal things that they have done in their past life, for most of them ‘money’ was the reason. So, they think that by accepting the truth (at the exchange of money) will bring their family some kinda pride?? No. So, why do they want to devour their family’s reputation in front of the world? If they really want redemption, why don’t they bring out the confessions in their own house where their family can actually hear them with much more pleasure rather than pain? Somethings are so personal that people can’t really understand them and by revealing them in public will only help society in making a negative impression of you. And guess what, society is smart. Anyways, It won’t buy your faithfulness and sincerity in claiming the truths because you are exchanging them for money. Confession in the form of redemption must be unconditional.

So, that brings us to this question!! People lie for money and now people are speaking the truth for the same? Yah and this is the interpretation I drew from the show ‘Sach ka Samna’. Their souls have been tainted with the greed for money. So, even in the process of redemption they want to earn money through some or the other way. If there were no shows like ‘Sach ka Samna’, so many people wouldn’t have confessed their truths and would have continued living with the lies that they sold to others. Strange it is. They feel alleviated after answering all those questions. And I just wonder that how they again create an illusion of doing something right by committing another grave mistake in their lives – ‘The mistake of selling their family’s reputation for some million rupees’. Their fathers never did the same. Cause for them reputation and self-respect was more important than money. They never took a wrong path even when they were living in penury. They were better humans. Money wasn’t everything for them.

But people have changed now. They view things differently. Respect is a secondary word for the most. Money is first. They come to Mumbai to find a job. And when they fail, they lose their souls there. And who is the rapist? Money.

Why don’t this new generation go home and tell everything to their families if they are overwhelmed with guilt?? Why now people are speaking truth only because someone’s paying them for it!! Why don’t they realize that even this money is not coming free of cost to them!! It takes all the reputation and respect out of them. Do they think their families will ever be proud of whatever amount they earned from ‘Sach ka Samna’??? I think no family will like to answer this.