Monday, February 1, 2010

Institute of Entertainment & Timepass

Have you ever seen a place like this?

Situated in the middle of nowhere,
near the forest of trees,
in the silence of abandoned industries,
commute with only 'fatfaitya', please.
Where teenagers go to do engineering,
with all the hypes and hopes only to find
that their careers are gonna take a deep lope.

Where the freshers' party is always worth a watch
because every year it ends up in a brawl.
Shouting, screaming, swearing on your mom,
the chairman runs with a stick behind the mob.
'Very inspirational', the seniors say,
teaching us the ways to be and not to be.
So enjoy the ragging or at least pretend,
One day you will find yourself fixed.

Have you ever seen a place like this?

Where the MD is called ‘KUKU’
who's the so called MBA, but
everyone knows that he's an illiterate 
who can't even spell his sorry ‘A’.
The Chairman is no less,
he claims he's a doctor
but on the AIDS day he lectures us,
"Use Condoms AFTER sex".
Musical nights are also worth a watch.
DJ is a one who plays 
only Bhangra &amp. folk.
When everyone is ready to hit the groove,
a rope partitions the floor keeping
girls safe from the male whores.
Rock performances have their way too,
A cult of 10 head bang in front, while the
thousand others feel disgusted with the tune.

Have you ever seen a place like this??

Where gals and guys are banned from sitting together,
not in the classrooms but in the canteen.
For the sake of protecting the sisterhood
someone's destroying their teen.
The love birds still find their ways 
in the eternal ‘khopchas'.
It's a secret place to make love, people,
no one’s ever gonna catch ya!!

The lecturers enter the class and find empty chairs,
Unknown of the fact that somewhere in the campus
there are no empty chairs.
KUKU goes crazy and calls his battalion.
To all the problems, he pretends to be an alien.
While the guards shut the canteen down,
the daredevils jump off the walls
and the losers return to the halls.

Have you ever seen a place like this??

A night before the exam everyone plays Counter-Strike.
The other day everyone prays the deity for a Favor-Strike.
Where a receptionist is now a TPO
whose biggest achievement is
remembering KUKU's memo. 
KUKU keeps hiring new lecturers,
ain't new though,
who forgets the faces that ragged them so low ?
But KUKU is a dick-tator with a broom,
Students now realise that they are so doomed.
A few good companies come and recruit only a few.
The receptionist then dials a phone or two.
 and gets the companies which request money for their loo.
While students introspect what went wrong,
it’s time to say to each other the last goodbye.
Lucky ones get ready to stuff their belly,
Others pack their bags and head to Silicon Valley. 

10% of real placements will become 100% on the charts.
People will get impressed and donate with full heart.
KUKU will get richer, chairman the richest,
And this group of institutions will keep getting the biggest.
Crazy, isn't it??
It’s a vicious circle Mr. Ogden Nash,
And it hurts a little bit.

Isn't such a place worth a visit??
Well not for me because I m sick of it!!!!
That’s my alma mater.

Have you ever seen a place like this?


17 comments:

Jennee said...

I have not seen a place like this.

I didn't know you did poetry....A+

Hope you're doing well.

jennee

Deepak said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Deepak said...

Mr mathur u r forgtng one thng which is most important kuria kurmur wali use ek khat mil tha jisme.......

shaunak said...

yar awsum he........kya sahi utari he....

vishal said...

nice job dear....hav u seen this place

Ashish said...

@Jenee: Thanks for liking my poetry :). When you will come to India, i will take you to this place ;). Then even you will write about it :P

@Deepak: Well 'kuraiya' is one of the few good memories from our college that I will cherish :). But it would have been out of context here :P

@Shaunak: Thanks for dropping by buddy.Welcome to Subliminal verses :)

@Vishal: Haha.. I have spent 4 yrs of my life at this place. Haven't you?? ;). Thanks for dropping by, welcome to Subliminal verses :)

Sandy said...

You aren't by any chance at my college are you? You have described it almost exactly! Except for one small detail, computers are banned at our hostel. Imagine that, no computers for computer science engineering students. Hehe... but we have our workarounds ;)

Ashish said...

Haha.. no wonder this happens only in India. My clg was in Alwar, Rajasthan. And i am indeed happy that I will never have to visit that place again. Whr is ur clg b/w?

aditi said...

I read this a zillion times n yet it makes me laugh!!! wen r u writing again???

Ashish said...

Hey Aditi,
Hw r u dng? M happy tht this post still makes u laugh!! I seem to have lost interest in blogging :-(. Or my priorities in life has changed. Even i dn't knw wen will iwrite gain. Wat abt u? Did u start blogging again? I love ur writing.. wanna read them again!!

- The Virgin Author! said...

This was hilarious! =))

Namita Kohli said...

hey.. some cool poetry... Parts of it remind me of my college... thankfully some dint exist in mine...
The piece seems like a satire on the kind of colleges who are just interested in making the moolah...

Aditi said...

Hey Ashish,
Ive been asking YOU to write - ive decided to do 1-2 post again. How bout u?
Hey i am seriously contemplating a ' I HATE KUKKU' page on FB or something... Lolzz. :D I wonder why he still makes my blood boil after 3 years!

Ashish said...

Yah Aditi, I am gonna write soon, thanks to frnds like u who r continuously encouraging me to do the same :). Though i usually don't support the idea of 'Hating some1 publicly' but for Kuku just bring it on girl, i am sure that all the IETians will love it!! :)

Vaibhav said...

awesome poetry...nothing has changed in this college...

Ashish said...

Thanks Vaibhav!! You are currently studying in IET??

Anuj Mathur said...

Ossome blog ...